Solitude

Yes, another sad title and another sad discourse on my life! I cant understand why I come back to you mostly and only when I feel there is no meaning to my life and when i don’t want to live any longer. I know these are strong words and i, for one, definitely severely lack the courage it takes to go down that path but isn’t it more about what you think than about what you do?

And right now, i feel like I wish I wasn’t born, even if I had to be, I wish I had never grown up, even if I had to, I wish this hadn’t happened to me (i don’t understand what I am referring to as ‘this’). I wish i wasn’t myself. Maybe its just me because everyone else seems quite contented. The question, now, is when and where did ‘me’ go wrong? What went wrong?

There is nothing that i enjoy these days! Not movies, not books, not work, not food (yes, it has always been a fundamental part of my life :D), not friends (i don’t know who i am referring to as ‘friends’), is it just me? But what went wrong?? I REALLY wish someone could answer that question for me.

It is probably just a phase that will also pass by like any other day but right now, i could kill to feel differently. I wish something would help, i wish someone would help. I know there are people in my life who care and care a lot but for some reason, it just doesn’t seem enough. Just not enough.

I am probably asking for too much and i am responsible for what i have lost and all that i have lost (which is a LOT! More than i can fathom!). but doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? I guess not :/

Unbelievable!!

4 months!! thats how long its been since i last saw my blog. haha i was supposedly busy! OR NOT!! just chose not to write or was too engrossed with other things :/ but anyway here i am..thanks to the same person :))

feels nice to be back :D lots of things have happened, lots of things have changed n i have changed with them. india won the world cup :D n i got a blackberry n broke it LOL. got in touch with a lot of old friends..feels GREAT :D

seem to have lost that knack, that flair for blogging :| hope to get back soon :)

let's start afresh!!

life's weird. morning on december 24th..i felt like a prisoner dying to break free. evening december 25th i was a free bird but had lost that craving to fly. i dint mind staying back for a while. weird?

time flies. january 31st..could give anything for not having to return to this place..weird?

no more victimisation of self..lets start afresh. the slate is clear. past impressions of all the bad removed (or the so-called bad cuz everything happens for the good na?)

let's start with a new aim and determination to succeed. let's decide our course so we dont. let us not let insignificant things affect us anymore. let's be strong enough to handle anything that comes our way. let's learn to accept failures because they will come. let's learn to keep trying. let's learn to be the masters again..lets not give a damn to what the other people are saying or thinking or woteva.

what say? start afresh?